To Cool or not to cool.

Disclaimer: This post might sound highly immodest. That was not the idea. And if you think that is what it is, I don't really give a rat's ass.

Everyone has been through a phase in their lives where they try and try to fit in with the others. To be cool. I went through that phase too I guess. Back in high school. Though I didn't realize it then, I guess I was trying to fit in with rest of the 'cool-gang'. I already had my own spot. I was the funny-guy. I was witty, well-mannered, and quite funny. Everyone loved my company. All the girls loved my smart-alec remarks. When they were not busy with the 'cool-gang' that is. See, everyone wanted to chill with me, but no one wanted to date me. :) But i thought i was cool. Till I came to class 12.
I had moved towns and went to a small town, where my Dad was commanding a batallion. Here I was the coolest teenager on arrival. I played 3 different sports every evening, was a regular at the golf club, well mannered and well cultured. Parents would cite my example and tell their kids that they should be more like me. No kidding! And i joined the best highschool over there. On my first day at class I realized that here I dont need to try to be cool anymore. No one was. Everyone was the studious kinds, and their idea of fun was mischevious pranks.
That was when I realized I really didnt need to be cool. I just needed to be myself. And I started being myself. And I liked what I was. And since then till date, I have mostly been myself. I am sure there must have been a few instances where I must have deviated and tried to be cool, but they were quite rare for sure. I just didn't care anymore. I was just myself. No need to be something else. No need to be anything else. Just be.

Then I went to college. In the biggest city I had been to in my life so far. And I still didn't try to fit in. I didn't care about fitting in. I felt people should like me for what I am. And they did. I had developed friendships that were supposed to last a lifetime. And some of them are. But the funny part is that I was considered cool. Those close to me liked it when I slouched in class and not sitting ram-rod straight. They liked it that I never worried too much about anything. That I was the one who had a calm head around when any shit hit any fan. They turned to me for advice, comfort, help. Over the years, the same attitude caused people to think i am too cold, without emotion. And now its come back a full circle. I'd stopped trying to be cool 10 years ago. And now some feel that I am still trying to be cool by not trying. I don't give any explanations. :) I won't try to be anything else other than what I am. And I really don't care about most things. I just want to be. You should too.